Along the edges, with arms outstretched,
we're concentrating.
Traversing the concentric walkways of
perfectly peeled rinds,
we're descending into the depths
of his fruity fragrance.
It intoxicates; it controls.
Like blind men on a rope,
we follow him who leads.
And he leads us to the heart
of these tangerine dreams.
We discover this new world,
through orange, tinted glasses.
Everything has layers, and
texture and truth. We reach out
to touch. To feel. To know.
The exploration is punctuated
by moments of cognisance.
Moments when the solid haze we're in
is pierced by a stray word.
But these moments pass, and
the tangerine dream regains control.
We're awoken from this reverie by
the acerbic edge of reality.
The citric acid cuts through it all.
Clean strokes, no mistakes.
We were at the nadir, swimming
in sweetness spiced with tangy passion,
but now, we return. We take careless steps
in the hopes of falling off the edge,
to be immersed in the tangerine dreams
once more.
This one definitely needs a rewrite, but it works as is for the time being. A momentary return to the colour phase...
April 2, 2009
Discovery
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6 Comments:
Eh.
Weird one, couldn't figure what it was about, although I liked the color thingy and a few other tingies.
I know, I'm a bad reviewer :D
Hmmmmmm
Very interesting
Loved the abstractness of this one. Especially the opening lines, and the lines about citrus cutting clean strokes into reality. The colour imagery works well. And for some reason, there was this kind of movement about the whole thing... like a giant orange spiral, which made it even more heady.
Was 'concentrating' meant to be a pun?
Tangerine dreams. I quite definitely miss reading your stuff. Why nothing new?
I just listened to "lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" by the beatles, and it kinda reminded me of this. Well, the word tangerine did :D
Kaber - I'm glad you took the time to read and comment anyway. :)
Chittz - I was sort of going for a piece about fruit initially, with the intention of developing some sort of metaphor and then perhaps personifying a couple of things. It didn't really work out that way...
The giant orange spiral was actually exactly what I was going for, so I'm really psyched you caught on to that. :D And no, concentration wasn't intended to be a pun...but if it works out that way, then what the hell. Haha.
I've got 16 different unfinished 'pieces' littering my hard drive. One of these days, I'm hoping I'll just be held to gun point or something, 'cause that's the only way I see them going anywhere. Thank you for the comments, Chittz. :)
Write lazy/busy one.
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